Worried about 11 year old [LONG, I'm sorry]?

I'm very concerned about my 11 year old sister, I know that when you make the transition from grade school to Jr. High there are always some changes in grades and behavior lord knows when I entered 7th grade I was a short-lived little hellion! I had an attitude problem and I decided to travel around the world with my dad instead of attend my classes but I was nothing compared to her. In the start of 6th grade she got into the whole Emo ';lifestyle'; as you call it- I'm not 100% what she means but from what I've heard about emos it's no good but I'm not one to place judgment on cliques or whatever you wish to call them now. Anyways beginning with her new found lifestyle she has done absolutely nothing in school she goes to class, sleeps, doesn't turn in homework/classwork, more worried about Youtube videos and meez than school. She's acquired some friends who have all failed at least 2 years of school (been put back), has been in rehabs for drugs/alcohol, had sex, piercings, etc etc just a whole list of things that makes you sit back and wonder how the hell. I've seen some of her letters online and she does a lot and I mean a lot of lying including posing as boys online pretending they're her real life boyfriends, recently one of these boys she's made up she has been making believe for her friend that he is in love with her (not my sister, but her friend) just to mess with her head and then she tells us about it but in a way that it sounds realistic until we saw the fake e-mails and accounts on her computer account. Now along with some of her e-mails she's said that she's thought about using and drinking and she's claimed she cuts herself. She does wear her hoodie all of the time and big shirts that cover most of her arms, I find a lot of broken knifes in her bedroom, she takes extra long showers one time I walked in and she was just laying on the bathroom floor in a towel, it is towards the end of the school year and she has not improved at all. I know she doesn't have a L.D. because in grade school she was A/B honor. her grades IF she turns in her work on time are at least 70's. But she isn't turning her schoolwork in, she claims she forgets she has HW, she still does nothing in class, her hygeine is absolutely terrible which makes me wonder how can you take such long showers and still be so gross(I never said these things to her though) but she doesn't brush her teeth if she does she runs in under the water with a teeny bit of toothpaste rubs it on her teeth and she is done she won't wear deodorant we buy her new shirts and things all the time but she doesn't ever want to change her clothes it's just nasty and when we confronted her and said we think maybe we do need to test her for drugs she FLIPPED OUT.... her teachers have all in agreement asked if she was on drugs of course our response was defensive because at the time you just think my god why and how would an 11 year old do drugs? Our family life is not that bad, of course we have some minor family issues they're nothing significant like a mom who doesn't care or any kind of crap like that we're a pretty normal family. At this point none of us know what to do as a family as parents/guardians nor do we know what to think (I'm her legal guardian by the way as well as sister). Has any parent encountered this problem, suggestions, do you think she is using. Again I completely dismissed the idea of drugs but now I am starting to wonder, and after school she is suppose to attend tutoring for an hour, but we find out from the teachers she isn't there yet she is gone for an hour or 2 after her school day. =S


I'm just frustrated and confused.Worried about 11 year old [LONG, I'm sorry]?
I agree with the poster above that says she is going through some serious emotional issues right now. Whether it is related to the family environment or not, there is something seriously wrong. She is exhibiting signs of depression and beyond. I would recommend talking to her and seeing if you can get her to acknowledge the inner turmoil, pain, sadness. Where ever it is coming from, she needs help sorting it out. I recommend you take her to a counselor, and not just some goof that your insurance recommends. Do some research for someone that has experience with the issues teens face and things she is 'showing' you. As well as finding out their reputation for helping kids with such problems.





I can speak from experience, that some kids are genetically pre-disposed to having these kinds of issues while others have had something happen to them that they won't acknowledge or speak about to anyone that has triggered this behavior. Or it could very well be that she is just a 'follower' of the emo trend and has gotten in so deep with it (being influenced by the music and crowd that are involevd) that she has become depressed and way over her head with the whole thing. An 11 year old is not mature enough to understand the 'darkness' that emo kids seek as being cool.





As for my own experience, I was not diagnosed til I was 19, but by the age of 8, I was depressed and emotionally paralyzed. I did not go the route your sister is right now, but had similar behavior when I was 16.





Trust me, it won't improve until she gets help for it. Being 11, she may be scared and not sure what to do with the emotions she is experiencing, let alone understand what she is feeling to begin with. She is just acting out in reaction.





Drug treatment isnt necessarily the answer, unless it is actually determined she is using. Definitely don't rule it out though, it could be what is causing the emotional turmoil as well. An 11 year old on drugs is a scary thought, it messes with the heads of older people well enough, let alone a child of such a vulnerable age.





I really hope you are able to find some assistance for her. And yes, be fully prepared for resistance, but know you are doing the right thing. And don't give up if the first counselor you take her to doesnt work out. Unfortunately its a trial and error process. Just hang in there and keep trying.Worried about 11 year old [LONG, I'm sorry]?
Your sister has some real emotional issues if she's been to rehab at her age. She needs help.
oh wow.


that's awful!


i think you're sister needs some professional help fast.


i think you need to take her to a councilor , there seem to be a lot of problems, if she cuts, takes drugs, doesn't do her work etc there's obviously something terribly wrong.


i'd move her from that school. she won't thank you for it, but surrounding yourself with friends like that won't help her in any way.


thats an awful situation to be in.


best of luck and i hope it all works out


xx
talk to her eplaine he rwhat she is doing is going to affect her and that wen she is in trouble her friends willnever b there to bail her out or somthing like that ut that u will that family or u will always help tell her that juvie or jail isnt so good and try to talk to her more tell her about life, boys st say it how it is my sis is 11 im 20 n i always explaine to her evrything even sex so as she gets older she cn come to me for everyhing , cry if u have to jst let her know u love her and want wats best for her tell her some of ur life examples jst dont fight tell her that now its all pay but in her future she wll b noone if she dosnt go to school try being her friend as well as her sis n guardian
The only way to solve this is,





Take her to her bedroom, lock the door, and tell her ';I love you, but i have to do this';.





Get the belt, and beat her.





It'll knock some sense into her.


Thats what my mother always did.





Look how i turned out :D
talk, convince her