How to write a better E-mail?

Can you please help me revise this paragraph, I want it to sound polite while having a strong impact on him. Also, I want it to sound less begging and more if he changes my grade he will be doing himself a favor.



This is the e-mail:



';I do not want to look back at this grade with agony and discomfort. This is my lowest mark I have ever received and it will hurt me dramatically in the future. Therefore, I would like for you to help me like you have helped my other fellow classmates who have talked so highly of you helping them.';



Thank you!How to write a better E-mail?
I believe the mark which you gave to me is severly incorrect. I spent far too long preparing myself for this topic and I know I deserved more than what I was given.

This mark darmatically effects my average and will create much hassle for the near future.

I would greatly appreciate it if you would reconsider my mark; take another read of my paper and I am sure you will agree that I should have attained a much higher grade.

I know you have changed the mark of other students work and I am sure that they truley did not deserve the extra point or two more than I.

If this isnt a possibility I was hoping there is something I can do for extra credit.

Thank you.How to write a better E-mail?
If its a assessment, it is over, making him change the mark with an e-mail is unfair, you should of been more prepared. asking for a re-assessment would be more appropriate. and talking to him would be better than hiding behind a computer.