Wednesday, September 21, 2011

In this situation what would you do?

Supose you are the dad. The 16 year old son comes to you with the report card and tells you he modified some grades and feels really guilty now so he wanted to confess. The report card as it was in original was bad. Would you punish the kid only for the bad report and how? Would you punish the kid for the bad report and for changing the grades with the intention to lie to you and how? Would you give some credit for confesing the truth , if yes in what way?

(Im the kid tourmented by guilt feelings and wanting to confess )In this situation what would you do?
The rule in my house when my son was in high school was: yes you will be punished for doing something bad, but lie to me and the punishment will be to the moon. Confessing is telling the truth, although not right away. I would punish you for changing the grades, but not for coming clean.



If you changed the grades the punishment would probably be not going out, tv, etc. until all your homework is done. Plus, we would probably go have a talk with your teachers to see what could be done to raise your grades, extra credit, etc.



Remember, your parents want you to succeed. They will do almost anything to help you get the grades they know you can get and to make sure that your a success in your life. I know you don't want the punishment, but if you get caught before you tell Dad I can promise you the sky will fall on your head.In this situation what would you do?
i guess i would be glad my kid came and said something because then i could help with the grades. no punishment. after all i did that all the time
if the kid confessed i would leave that pert of it out. you were told before the damage was done or any lies told. it must have taken courage to own up straight away. i would only ';punish'; for the report card, but i don't really know what you mean by that. if my kid was trying their best and still not getting good grades i wouldn't punish them at all. you can't FORCE someone to be ';clever';. if i knew they were lazy and capable of more i would think of a suitable punishment for that.
First you would catch it for the bad grades because consistent punishment is a key to making rules that will be obeyed. Now confessing would definitely make me consider knocking some punishment off because I value honesty above all else.
I would give you some credit for finally telling me the truth but I don't like being lied to by my children so I would probably find out the reason behind the bad grades. Is it because you didn't study or are you having trouble understanding the work? I think your punishment should be based on the answer to that question. If you are having trouble understanding the work your parents won't know that unless you confide in them. If it is due to your not doing your part to study I would ground you until you brought the grades up. Your parents will respect you alot more if you are honest with them.
Dear Rebel - well....getting bad grades in school is not good...don't know how your parents typically handle that....but don't expect to get off easy! And doctoring your grades is worthy of some grounding Mr.! You have to accept the result of your actions - you won't die if you confess - and although what you did was wrong and you are scared to do what's right....hopefully you have learned your lesson. Take your punishment like a 16 year old!
As a parent to a 18 year old, the rule in our house is absolutely no lying.

We don't care how bad the situation, just tell us the truth and we would go from there.

Yes, he has lied and was grounded for that situation.

You should tell him now before he finds out from someone else. Every parent is different with rules and punishments.

Just be honest, we parents really aren't the bad guys, we love our children and just try to do our very best for them.
Let me tell you how I dealt with a similar situation. I am a father of a 17 yr old girl. In my profession I am in fairly constant contact with the police force so, when my daughter then aged TEN years old forged my signature on a school related document I took her to the local police station and asked the Sargent to show us one of the cells. It had the right effect. She continued to be a straight A student and God willing she will enter university for a maths degree Sept 2007. If kid makes an error that normally only adults commit, then treat kid like an adult and the ensuing shock normally works wonders. The offender's remorse and repentance often aren't enough. You need to REPAIR any damage or hurt that your CRIME has caused. I believe that peer pressure is a serious obstacle for parents to contend with but in my view the only way to take on the ';peer pressure'; your kids are under is ';parents... pressure';. Parents complacency kills kids and their future.
Coming clean for something I didn't know about would absolve the person of any punishment for it, however I would still punish the person for the grades although less severely than if I had found out. It all depends on what your parents are like.
I feel you are showing some maturity and remorse for your actions. If this was a first time at this I would definatly only punish for the first grades and warn about attempted dishonesty and how lying and being dishonest is not a path to choose for a better life in adulthood
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