Feelings of inaduqatsy and self-hatred.. how do i start dealing with this more properly?

i'm turning 15 in july

I'm in 9th grade.



Over the past two years i've been dealing with a lot of problems



It's devloped into cutting and anorexia.



I hate myself. Everything i do it feels like its wrong. I KNOW doing well is improtant but the fact that i have a B in three classes and a C in one, A's in the rest, really bothers me.



I can't bring the grades, up, it's too late in the year [even if i got straight As in everything from now till june, i'd still not be able to change my grade]



i'm worthless

EVerything that i do seems to be wrong!



I don't know how to cope with this properly anymore



The cutting is only going to get worse, and it's almost summer. i won't be able to cover up as much as i'd prefer

And the way i eat.. is gonna get worse..

I struggle to eat two meals a day.. and i never eat a lot at either, except for when i end up binging..



I don't know how to cope

I want to start recovering from all this.

it's been this way too long.





[hitting the more obvious questions now]

~No, my mom doeesn't know.. or rather doesn't care. she has seen the cuts and noticed my weight fluctuations, but hasn't tried to confront me or help.

~yes,one person knows most of this

she also lives in canda... :((Feelings of inaduqatsy and self-hatred.. how do i start dealing with this more properly?
So sorry to hear of your troubles. First of all, you need to find someone who you can confide in, neighbor, priest, rabbi, minister,school councilor

You also need to get to a doctor. Have some blood work done to see if you are diabetic or have a chemical imbalance.

Not knowing if you have religion or not, but pray. God, not matter your religion, will always be there waiting for you to ask for help.

Some of what you are going thru might be hormones so it is really important for you to get medical help. Don't be afraid to seek help. Doctors have seen it all and don't take no for an answer. There is something that needs fixing, either physically or mentally. The sooner you get the help you need the better your life will be. No matter what you think of yourself, you are a worthwhile person..

Don't give up in seeking your answers.

Good luck