How is this for a beginning of a chapter?

';Dude, look at this.'; Andy whispered in the computer lab during homeroom.



Holly and Damien watched Andy type in ';phsteachers'; in the username box and then ';kites'; in the password box. As soon as he hit enter, the screen switched to a background where a white-and-blue kite appeared. Holly could see an icon that said ';Grades';. Her stomach did a somersault when she realized what Andy had done. He cracked the code to a teacher's login. She had heard it from Demi, but she didn't believe it. She thought those were just rumors.



Andy clicked on Internet Explore and typed in ';Facebook'; in the search box. To Holly's pleasure, the site appeared on the screen. This was the best discovery ever. They were one of the few people who knew how to get in a teacher's account. It was almost too good to be true,



';God, teachers are so stupid.'; snickered Andy, as he logged onto his Facebook account. ';Why would they come up with something so easy as a password and a username.';



Holly had to agree. She thought Paramount would come up with something more complicated. Now she had an all access pass to Facebook at school. It almost made her forget about the rumors being spread about her. At least until she saw a couple of sophomore girls she didn't know walk past her. One of them was Corydon Winstead. She had long, brown hair, hazel eyes, and tanned skin. Holly knew her from church and summer camp.



';Hey,'; Corydon said, flipping her dark hair over her shoulders. ';What are you doing?';



Holly wanted to impress Corydon and her friends so she showed them how to get onto a teacher's account. Corydon looked pleased as she saw that Andy could get on Facebook.



';Wow,'; she smirked. ';I've never thought I see the day when we could get on Facebook at school.';



';Can you change grades?';How is this for a beginning of a chapter?
I can't fault this. The grammar is fine the opening flows well and if this were a completed book I would want to turn the page and that is what writing is all about, There's not much more I can say except good luck with the rest of the story and keep writing because there is no doubt that you can.How is this for a beginning of a chapter?
Books have to be different from reality, when people read them they should be able to forget what is happening, and yet at the same time they need to be believable and realistic, there is a fine line between the two; unfortunately I think you've made this, so far, very much like something that would happen in real life.



I think the writing style is good, I just don't personally think the actual writing itself is going anywhere.